when boys and girls play together they will learn to treat each other as equals when they are adults. i’m betting that will make for a much better world for all of us…

My daughter preferred to play with boys in preschool and the teachers thought she was developmentally delayed because of it and recommended I hold her back. Independent testing for school readiness indicated she was in the high gifted range and they recommend acceleration. Go figure.

She’s seventeen now, has friends of both genders and is attending university a year early. I’m glad I trusted my own instincts.

Teachers have mentioned it in passing to me, but not really made a big deal of it with either of them. Some other parents have not actively pursued some of my daughter’s friendships with boys, and I guess the friends she has now are the ones with parents who just accepted it. I wonder sometimes what the future will bring in terms of friendships for both of them…

I have seen many different variations of this – sometimes with the person who thinks they understand actually being more lost than they think. Asking a pointed question usually clarifies which case you have pretty quickly.

Tell them to pick up the pace.

Never allow yourself to be condescended to; I used to do that a lot, like to protect people’s feelings and not be rude, but it turns out they end up thinking you are stupid, and that is way worse than looking rude.

When in doubt, always ask yourself “What would a guy do?”
We women are conditioned to protect the feelings of others; it does not bode well for many professional fields.

If someone is explaining something that I already know well – something that happen fairly often – I tell that I’m already familiar with that topic and follow it up with a pointed question. For instance, “I understand transactional memory reasonably well so can you tell me what specific problem you’re working on.” I think if you say this with the right tone and a nice smile, people are unlikely to take offence.

[sigh]

~Luke

I let cheaters cry though. Then I tell them how disappointed I am in them (while they sign the thing acknowledging guilt and waiving their right to a trial). That Catholic upbringing was good for something!