Wordless Wednesday: Things in my office February 22, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in engineering, photography, work.Tags: art, artologica, office space, pictures, work, workplace
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Scientist, with kids February 19, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in career, education, engineering, family, feminism, grad school, homeschooling, older son, personal, physics, research, science, societal commentary.Tags: feminism, gender equity, kids, parenting, role models, sexism
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FSP has a post asking about the Local Mom Effect. That is, she wonders if being in a department with more women professors who have kids affects the outlook of younger women in the field. I find this post interesting…but also, I hate to say it, irrelevant.
Let’s put it this way: what women?!
When I started school at Caltech, I knew of two women professors out of all of math, physics, and astronomy. I only ever met one of them, knew she had no kids. I knew nothing about the other professor. When I decided to go back to school a few years later, I ended up in a physics dept. where the professors were all men. Later, I ended up in an electrical engineering department where the professors were all men.
I guess that, in my mind, the notion of being one of the few women in the department was no different than being one of the few women with kids in the department. When I went back to school, I had a kid already, so it wasn’t like I really had a choice about whether or not to be a childless woman in physics or engineering.
I will say that when I originally got pregnant as an undergrad at Caltech, I was told by my advisor that women couldn’t do calculus while pregnant and that I should drop out. Of course, he was a guy, so I seriously doubted he understood how women’s brains work while pregnant. (And it turns out that I can do calculus great while pregnant…I just can’t speak a full sentence coherently.) However, I guess I never took it as a message that women with kids don’t belong in science…I inferred that he meant it more personally, and that I myself was not a good fit for science. (Fortunately, major hopping got boring after a while, I ended up back in physics.)
When I went back to school, however, I felt that being the only woman or one of a few was very advantageous for several reasons. First, if I was the only woman or one of a very small number, I was already an oddity. A woman with kids is probably not much more odd than a woman without, and there was really no one to compare myself to (or say that I was doing it wrong). Second, I went back to school in North Dakota, and it really seems like people here more or less expect you to have kids no matter what you’re doing. I know that grates on some people, but for me, it was a blessing: having kids is just another part of life, and most people here learn to do their jobs while having them. (Also, I can’t recall anyone having a fit if I said I couldn’t make it to something because of kid-related issues.) Third, I was older than the average undergraduate or even grad student, so I think people assumed that it was pretty normal for someone my age to have kids. The fact that the younger students didn’t have kids was simply a function of age and never made me feel self-conscious that I did have kids. Finally, when I started my MS, my advisor was fine with the fact that I was homeschooling the older boy and would only be doing my degree part-time. He said this was really no different than other students in the department who were working full-time and pursing their degree part-time, as well.
I have been told, especially when doing my PhD classes, that it was “really cool to see a woman in science with kids”, especially by some fellow grad students. Until I started my PhD, I really hadn’t expected it to be a big deal. It had never occurred to me that I might be a “role model”…but I keep hearing it more than I ever expected to. I also suspect it’s because I often had kids with me or family issues that were more apparent to fellow grad students. Many professors try to maintain a more professional relationship with their students, and it doesn’t surprise me that many grad students don’t see how having kids affects the lives of the professors or that they don’t realize some professors have kids at all.
Realistically, I only got here because I didn’t really know that what I was doing was unusual in any way. If I had been surrounded by women who had kids but never let it on or didn’t have kids, I might have felt self-conscious about being a mom already. With no one to compare to, however, I just assumed that it wasn’t any more abnormal than a woman without kids.
And now they’re gone… February 18, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in career, engineering, research, work.Tags: layoffs
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Thursday was the last day for our colleagues who’d been laid off. Early in the week, we were trying to figure out what to do for the people in our group when the admin sent out an announcement – they were having a staff appreciation lunch to give everyone a chance to say goodbye.
I was glad they hosted the lunch as it seemed like a nice last gesture. However, part way through, I got so depressed about it that I had to leave and opted not to say goodbye to anyone. I’m not very good at that sort of thing.
This has been hard for two reasons. First, after an awful two years, I came here with the intention of only working for about six months to pay some tuition and then be done. I ended up fitting pretty well with everyone, and it was so nice to work with people who were friendly and communicative…not what I’d been dealing with the two years prior. For the most part, we all got along and clicked well, and I began to enjoy my work again. After my six months was up, I was told I could stay, so I did. And now some of these people, who helped me get on my feet again, are being sent away.
Second, and worse in a way, the news about my research got around and hit relevant industry journals and even some popular press all over the world. Over the past two weeks, I’ve been inundated with calls and emails. It seems so unfair that things can be going so well for me when we’re in the middle of laying people off. I can only hope that the positive press will lead to more funding opportunities so that I can help make sure no one else has to leave.
But now, hopefully, the worst is over. At least I won’t have to sit here and dread when people will be gone because it’s over. I’ll still probably feel rather sad every time I walk past people’s old desks and wonder what they’re up to.
Friday fun: Encabulator madness February 17, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in Friday Fun, humor.Tags: friday fun, turboencabulator
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If you ever need practice speaking jargon, I’d suggest studying one or the other of the two following videos.
Over at Engineer Blogs February 16, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in engineerblogs.org.Tags: engineerblogs, engineerblogs.org
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If you haven’t been by Engineer Blogs this morning, you might want to go read my post on how I prepared for my career.
You ought to… February 15, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in career, education, grad school.Tags: academia, career, community college
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I was discussing some of my career aspirations the other day. After talking a bit, the person I was talking to lifted their index finger in that way people do when they’re trying to be thoughtful.
“You know, you really ought to get a job at a community college.”
I was floored. The person realizes that despite the fact I could have stayed here and finished my PhD in just a couple years, I chose to go someplace else and spend two years apart from my family because I didn’t want the stigma of “only been at one school”. Why would I do that if I wanted to teach at a community college? In fact, why would I go get a PhD at all? I could start teaching at a CC after finishing my MS and not put myself through all that.
I’m not saying this as a slight to community college teachers, either. I went to a community college for a couple years and had some of the most awesome teachers I’d ever met there. It’s just that 1 – it’s not really where I want to go and 2 – I don’t think I could handle it. Given the choice between research or technical work and teaching general ed-type classes, I’m pretty sure research would win out. I’ve learned that I can live without spending hours in front of students or grading papers, but I can’t live without the mental stimulation that doing technical work provides. Further, I’ve had the opportunity to teach in high schools as well as general ed labs for non-science majors. I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I like teaching labs for circuits, optics, and physics. I love teaching, but I’ve also learned that the material I like to teach is not suited for just an average student. I like math and theory, and most community colleges are not going to be offering the kinds of things I would love to teach, at least not at a high level.
Now realistically, if that was the only job available, I’d take it and try to be a totally kick ass teacher that makes their students want to be great scientists and engineers…or whatever else they want to be. I just am not convinced that’s a good first career choice for me.
Anyway, this whole interaction was very disappointing because it left me feeling that this person either has little faith in me or really doesn’t understand my interests well at all. I do realize they had no intention of making me feel bad, but I still felt slighted. It was all the more disappointing given that this person, in the past, has been very encouraging of my career goals.
Wordless Wednesday: Flip Flop Gigadog February 15, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in pets, photography.Tags: Gigadog, pictures, wordless wednesday
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A Note to Parents: Healthy Food February 15, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in food/cooking, older son, societal commentary.Tags: food, hypoglycemia, older son, younger son
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I have a major irritation that flaired up today: parents who feed junk food to their kids…or, more importantly, my kids.
Yes, I do realize it’s Valentine’s Day and that such an occasion requires force feeding large amounts of sugar-laden artificially produced stuff to small people, as was the custom when I was in school. However, some of the parents went overboard at younger boy’s school and provided a chocolate fountain. I also realize they brought healthy stuff to dip in it (like strawberries and bananas)…but I don’t understand why they didn’t just bring the strawberries and bananas while leaving out the chocolate fountain.
Before you accuse me of being heartless (ha!) Scrooge, I am not some health nut who only feeds her kids macrobiotic foods (although I do see the wisdom in that). My problem with this is that my kids are hypoglycemic, and I’ve suffered for years with parents bringing cookies and crap like that for snacks at school.
For the older boy, his hypoglycemia results in very angry outbursts. Some of these outbursts got him sent to the principal. The younger boy, however, will be bouncing off the walls and unable to focus. If we hadn’t determined the food connection, I’d swear up and down that he’s got some sort of ADHD that comes and goes.
On the other hand, I don’t think it’s just my kid. I’ve had teachers discuss with me how a LOT of kids seem to get unfocused after having particularly high levels of sugar.
That being said, if you are a parent, please think about these things when bringing snacks. Good foods would include things like crackers and bread, cheese sticks, nuts (if no one has nut allergies), whole fruit, beef jerky, celery and carrot sticks.
Things to avoid: yogurt pops (they are LOADED with sugar); most granola bars – also loaded with sugar, although the Kashi brands aren’t too bad; fruit juice…you may as well being giving them kool aid; cookies and cake are just plain out.
We’ve made an agreement with the younger boy’s teacher that he has cheese and crackers in his backpack. If the snack tastes sweet, he’s supposed to have his cheese and crackers along with the snack to prevent a huge blood-sugar spike and crash. Prior to this agreement, my son would be coming home from school half the time, unable to concentrate on any thing aside from a video game.
I realize most people’s kids aren’t as sensitive, but it makes sense to me that you’d want to avoid unnecessary sugar anyway. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case, and it’s amazingly frustrating to deal with on nearly a daily basis. So please – before you buy the frosting-covered cookies from the bakery, see if there isn’t something even marginally less sugary. My kids and I thank you.
I also blog at Engineer Blogs, home away from home to some of the best engineering blogs.
Don’t call me stupid! February 21, 2012
Posted by mareserinitatis in societal commentary.Tags: annoying people, stupid
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I’ve been a situation where I’m having a discussion and I eventually think something along the lines of, “Either they think I’m really stupid…or they’re really stupid.”
What do you do in those situations?
I don’t think too much about this when I meet random people off the street. However, when I meet someone who is supposed to have a particular competence, especially if technical, I’m always in a quandry.
First, I try not to make snap judgements. Sometimes I’ve probed a bit further and either found out that the person was just unfamiliar with a particular area but may be pretty brilliant in another. Other times, it turns out that they really are…ummm…undereducated. I remember one person who, after ten minutes, had me convinced that finding their way out of a paper bag would be challenging. Other people around me were willing to give this person more time to figure things out. About a year later and many, many episodes of this person’s stupidity, people started saying, “You know, you were right about hir.” In another situation, I began discussing my work with someone who smiled and basically said they had no idea what I was talking about. Later I learned that while they didn’t know much about my work, they were pretty brilliant in their own field. (I always appreciate people being up front about their strengths and weaknesses.)
But what do you do if you can’t probe further?
Another problem I run into is people being condescending because I apparently have an “I’m stupid” look on my face when they’re explaining something. I admit that when people are explaining things, I often need some ‘offline’ time later to process all of it. This is especially true the farther I get from my field. I do try to ask questions as I think of them.
But there are some people who start explaining things to me, and it’s like they’re reviewing high school physics. I feel like I’m ten steps ahead of them, but I can’t figure out if they’re trying to be helpful or if they don’t think I really understand. In this situation, I don’t want to say, “Yes, yes, move along,” because they may not be able to…or they may think I’m rude.
So, dear readers, what do you do in these situations? Put up with it or tell them to pick up the pace? Or is there another option? Also, how do you avoid being the one that is condescending?