Avoidance backfire March 17, 2012Posted by mareserinitatis in career.
I have mentioned before a particular colleague whose way of dealing with me is to pretty much pretend I don’t exist. When he does have to acknowledge my existence, he tends to not look at me or respond to what I am saying unless it’s very terse. It’s annoying, but given this is not someone I have to deal with a lot, it’s tolerable. (Of course, those times when I am not included on emails where my input is relevant really gets on my nerves. Actually, it’s annoying even when it’s not relevant.)
However, a new tactic seems to have emerged: passive aggression. This recent episode came up during a discussion where I made comments about some constraints affecting a project this person was working on, likely meaning there would need to be some changes in work already done. The colleague said, “Well, we’ll worry about that later.”
This is interesting because this colleague NEVER worries about things later, especially sorting out details. If you do a 180 from your normal behavior, this is obviously going to raise red flags with people. When I said that some of his work was going to have to be changed, I can’t help but think that I will find out in a couple months that the work was, in fact, not changed and that this person will claimed I never followed up. This, of course, makes me feel like I will now have to make a point of following up several times to rectify the situation, and I’m sure he’s going to love that I’m attempting to talk to him on a more regular basis. If he’s trying to avoid me, this is probably the worst way of doing so.