Doing the victory dance…on my own July 14, 2014Posted by mareserinitatis in engineering, research, work.
Tags: introvert, stress, success, widget, work
Over the past couple months, I’ve been putting insane amounts of time into a project in preparation for some field testing. Once the widget was deployed, I was fully expecting to feel this great sense of accomplishment. In particular, this was something that some people were skeptical would work, so getting working widgets out for use is a big deal. Even some people who advocated for the widget were probably not expecting I’d be able to get it to work as they seemed surprised when I informed them I had finished.
One would think I’d be overjoyed. I should be waiting for people to pat me on the back. I should be intensely satisfied that I can tell the doubters, “Told you so!” I should feel vindicated and totally kick-ass.
Except, I don’t really feel that way. I just feel a huge sense of relief that the crunch in over and maybe I can actually sit and focus on finishing the never-ending dissertation (aren’t they all?) for a while. I can disappear for a few days and not have constant distraction. I don’t have to field questions and phone calls and emails even in my off time.
It’s not that I even want to go on a vacation or do something like that. I’m okay with working…I just don’t want it to be around other people.
This, friends, is success for an introvert: being left alone for a while. But I’m dancing on the inside.