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Am I better yet? June 25, 2012

Posted by mareserinitatis in research, work.
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I had a minor surgery last Friday.  The doctor said I should be well enough to go back to work in 4-5 days.  I’m at three days now, and I’m getting a bit batty, even though I’m also sleeping a lot more than normal.  When I’m awake, I feel like I need to be doing something.

I would be fine with this except that the university has a policy that I can only access the supercomputer cluster from on-campus.  I was going so nuts yesterday that I made my husband drive me up there (I was on restricted driving, as well) so that I could do a couple things.  I would like to get him to bring me back today, but he’s trying to get some work done, so I don’t know how likely that is.

It’s funny – at least when I’m sick, I don’t feel like doing work and so will take it easy.  But here, I’m not sick, I don’t feel too bad, and I just keep thinking about all the stuff I want to get done.  At least I have to be home to let the plumber in…I think it’s the only time I’ve been thankful for a plumbing emergency.

I can just imagine what I would be like if I were forced to sit at home for a really long time.  I think I’d make everyone nuts.

What are you like when you’re under orders to ‘rest’?

The key to success: careful delegation of brain cells June 7, 2012

Posted by mareserinitatis in career, societal commentary, work.
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I’ve been reading with great interest the discussion on work/life balance and all the various issues people have to juggle.  In particular, GMP talked about people working ‘regular hours’ versus those who work more erratically.  The funny thing is, not only am I dealing with this myself, I’m trying to convince my teenager of this.

When I started college, pre-kids, I had never really learned any study skills.  Even though I was taking AP classes in high school, I’d worked in ‘crisis management’ mode through most of it.  (Probably the one exception was AP biology…)  I’d basically see what was due the next day and do that.  I very seldom (if ever) had much difficulty with my homework and studying was pretty much a waste of time because I got everything I needed in class.

You can pretty much see where this is going…  (And this is a BIG reason why I’m not crazy about traditional schooling methods.)

Of course, nothing stays as easy as high school, and college was a lot harder.  The problem was, no one ever told me how I was supposed to study.  More than one of my classmates used the same methods I did (and were equally unsuccessful).  I took a year off, working at a job.  When I went back, I wasn’t entirely disciplined, but it seemed like I had worked myself into a schedule by having a regular job. This carried over when I went back to school.

Then I had kids…and the need for a schedule was reinforced.  You only have kids in daycare during certain hours.  And if you’re lucky enough to have a spouse, maybe they aren’t going to be willing to bail you out when you’ve got unmet deadlines.  Or maybe they have deadlines of their own.

The question I kept asking is how I could do it all.

At some point, I realized I was chasing my tail and making no forward progress.  I could sit and work for 24 hours and still not make “sufficient” progress.  I think that view came from high school, too.  I used to be able to sit down and finish something.  But as you get older, the problems get bigger and more complicated.  There are very few things I can sit down and complete in just a couple hours, and most of those are usually brainless tasks.

So there’s another thing I had to come to terms with: I can’t do everything, certainly not in one sitting, and even everything I’m already doing may be too much.  Sometimes I have to let things go by quitting them or maybe I just have to put less time into them than I like (which is pretty much everything these days).  The important thing I need to ask myself at the end of the day is whether or not I made progress.  (I also don’t bother asking if I am happy with my progress because that inevitably leads to me feeling like my efforts were inadequate, which is only counter-productive.)

I try to maximize my potential by doing the most thinking intensive stuff in the mornings.  I try to make chunks of time to work on those things as large as possible.  (I have a tough time getting focused on a task, and once I do, I need to try to keep that as long as physically possible.  Interruptions (aka meetings) are a death-blow to my productivity.)  In the evenings, I try to spend time with my kids.  After they’re in bed, I try to get a few more things done.  When I’m teaching, the night activity is almost always grading.  There is absolutely no reason to waste perfectly alert morning brain cells on grading.  If I have a choice between getting an assignment graded in the morning so I can hand it back in the afternoon or waiting until the following class session so I can do it at night, I almost always choose to wait and do it at night.  Maybe the students aren’t as happy, but my productivity is a lot more important.

I have tried to do other work at night, but that’s more benign stuff like putting together presentations or even planning out my next day (one of the best evening activities).  I am far better off getting to bed early than sitting up trying to work on something important and making virtually NO progress.  Usually I sit there and work far past the point I’m exhausted, don’t get enough sleep, function less effectively the next day, feel like I didn’t get enough done, stay up late to compensate…and it just becomes a horrible downward spiral.  Now that doesn’t mean I can always do things on a schedule, but it usually comes out better when I do.

No, as much as I don’t like it, it’s better just to leave stuff undone and make sure I’m getting enough rest and exercise.  The funny thing is, most people don’t really seem to mind.  It drives me nuts not having things done, but when I talk to my supervisor (as an example), I’ve just gotten the general feeling that I was making sufficient progress to keep him happy.  (Maybe I’m wrong?  I hope not…)  In fact, both in my own experience and what I’ve heard of others, those who wield deadlines like bludgeons and expect people to work far beyond where they are effective (especially in the face of extenuating circumstances) are generally viewed as bullies.  That seems to be the case both in industry and academia.

I am now in the 1% June 6, 2012

Posted by mareserinitatis in personal.
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I had to go to the doctor for a checkup.  While doing the checkup, she asked me some questions as to whether something or not was bothering me.  I said yes, and she said she thinks I have an infection.  She wrote me up a script for some antibiotics, and I was on my way.

I took the antibiotics on Monday night.  As you probably read in my post on Tuesday, I was feeling pretty awful that day.  It only got worse from there.  I am currently writing up a proposal and got involved in a couple very technical discussions on Tuesday morning.  Problem was, I couldn’t follow what anyone was saying.  They may as well have been speaking Greek.  (The only Greek words I know are the names for variables.)  Mike said I seemed rather confused.  I tried to go for a run after lunch. Usually my runs are 45 minutes.  This time, I had to quit after 20 because my whole body was aching so badly.  I felt like I had the flu.  By dinnertime, I was feeling tired and weak and a bit dizzy.  First I googled the meds I was taking to see if there was any relationship to fatigue.  The one place I found that relationship explicitly stated, it said to call your healthcare provider immediately, so I called the nurse.

“The doctor prescribed this medication for an infection, and I think it’s making me extremely tired.”

“Of course you’re tired.  You have an infection.”

“But I didn’t even know I had the infection until she told me.  I had no symptoms until I started taking the medication.”

“Well, take it tonight and call your doctor in the morning.”

Helpful, eh?

I sat down to eat dinner, and contemplated whether or not to take the next dose of meds.  However, my left arm started to feel incredibly cold, and I just didn’t feel right.  Rather than going to see the transit of Venus with the local astronomy club, Mike brought me to the walk-in clinic.  By the time we got there, my left arm was tingling, and the sensation was moving up my arm.  Also, I started having problems focusing and kept blinking my eyes.

The doctor guessed that I was, in fact, having a pretty rare reaction to the medication and told me to stop.  He said to wait a couple days, and if my symptoms cleared up, I should call my doctor and let her know.

I went home, glad I decided to forego another dose of the meds.  Going to sleep was a problem because now my whole left side of my body was cold and tingling.  My arm was the worst, but I could feel pretty strongly in my ear and knee, as well.  I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly….and apparently said some odd stuff in my sleep, too.

I woke up this morning feeling better than the morning before, but still feeling like I was moving through molasses.  My arm has mostly stopped tingling, but I did have off and on sensations of burning or cold in it.  And then there were a couple of serious episodes of vertigo.  Fortunately, all of this has decreased as the day has worn on, and I’m actually much more awake now than I was this morning.

My conclusion, therefore, is that I better be more careful and NOT make the assumption that a medication is safe.  The symptoms I had aren’t as weird as the anti-nausea medication they gave me a few years back (which made me want to crawl out of my skin and then claw out my doctor’s eyes…that was very freaky…and apparently so common they almost never use the medication now), but they were nothing to sneeze at.  (Incidentally, sneezing and flu symptoms are also considered dangerous side-effects of this medication.)  I guess I didn’t think anything of it because I’ve had to take antibiotics about once a year for various sinus and ear infection-type problems.  I really never expected to have any problems…and apparently only about 1% of people do.

Sometimes you don’t want to be in the 1%.

I can’t help feel disappointed that I missed the transit.  Episodes like this also make me feel more unsure about modern technology.  But I guess when you’re going to lose your faith, you can restore it by looking at images like this:

Dragging June 5, 2012

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I hate, hate, hate the end of the school year.  I’m glad school is over, but the last month is essentially madness.  All the end of school programs, activities, banquets, etc.  I swear that we had one or more activities going on every evening in May.

On top of that, with the warm weather, we’ve hit lawn mowing season.  Apparently the only thing my neighbors have to do is take care of lawn work.  It seems like there are lawn mowers going constantly in my neighborhood from 7 a.m. until 10 p.m.

And now I’m just exhausted.  We had to run an errand before work this morning.  While Mike ran in, I stayed in the car.  Things took much longer than anticipated, and so he came out half an hour later and found me sound asleep despite all the ruckus going on outside.  It’s pretty bad when I can actually sleep someplace other than my own bed.

The good news is that I looked at the calendar for June…and it looks like things are finally starting to settle down.  Maybe I’ll even get a little sleep…in between lawn mowers.

Seven-month running update: The Fargo Marathon! May 19, 2012

Posted by mareserinitatis in Fargo, older son, personal.
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Seven months ago, I decided I was going to see if I could run the full 10k at the Fargo Marathon. I’ll jump to the important part first: I ran the whole 10k and never fell back to walking.  In fact, I must’ve had some major runner’s high because when we got to the ramp going down into the Fargodome, I took off at the fastest sprint I could manage.  In retrospect, that was not the brightest idea (especially since I’d had to use my asthma inhaler during the run), but I was incredibly excited and couldn’t help myself.  Aside from that, I could squeak past 3-4 more people.

The older boy and I met my friend Kari and her husband at the starting line.  They were gone pretty quickly (except that Kari’s pedometer attempted to bail on her, so she had to come back briefly and retrieve it).  There were a lot of fun things along the course, including an Elvis impersonator and this guy, who cleverly located himself at about the 5 mile marker:

Earlier in the week, they were saying it was going to be unseasonably hot.  This morning, it was rather cool but there were thunderstorms.  Fortunately, they finished up just as we were leaving for the race, so it was cool and a bit damp outside.  The only major issue was the last half mile or so where we were out of the protection of trees and dealing with some gusty wind.

I managed to improve my time from last year by 22 minutes.  I also went from one of the last 10 finishers to having about 200 people behind me.  (I also started in the middle of the pack and so had nearly half of the participants in the race pass me.)  So, I definitely improved.  I’m already excited about doing it again next year.  First, however, I have a triathlon in mid-August…so I need to start swimming and riding bike.

6 mos. running update: 1 month to go April 23, 2012

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I’m in horrid pain today.  My quads are protesting at the slightest movement.  On the other hand, I’m damn proud of myself.

When I moved back from Minneapolis two years ago, I learned that my exercise-induced asthma was now full-blown asthma, likely from living in a city with smog again.  When I was at UMN, walking across campus was causing me to have difficulty breathing, and I was regularly getting bronchial infections.  (Last time this happened, I was living in Los Angeles…not a surprise.)  I found out that I was unable to talk more than 2 mph without setting things off.  However, I kept working at it.  When I walked the 10k last year, I was walking 3 mph.  I was still having problems with asthma, though, until last fall when my new doc said we had to do something about it.

Yesterday has me in a bit of a head rush.  The older boy is now ‘training’ with me: my jogging pace is a healthy walking pace for him.  (The fact that he’s about 8 inches taller than me helps.)  We went for our jog/walk yesterday and I managed to keep 16 minute miles for 1 hr. 25 min. in addition to 15 min. of walking.  By the time we were done, we’d gone 5.9 mi.  And no asthma problems, either, despite the trees and flowers blooming.

We still have a month until the 10k!

Now, I’ll admit that I’m really achy today.  I’m used to running on a treadmill for two of my three weekly runs (last week was all three because of uncomfortably cool weather), and I can tell a difference when I run outside (especially when I have some ‘hills’, or at least a dike or two).  It was definitely worth it.  I’m fairly certain I’ll be able to run the whole 10k, and I’ll probably be able to cut my time from 2 hours to 1 hr. 40 min.  I know that’s still horribly long for most people, but it’s a sizable improvement from last year.

If I get any faster, the older boy may have to start running, too.

Getting re-oriented March 12, 2012

Posted by mareserinitatis in family, older son, pets, photography, younger son.
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I’m back home and getting adjusted to normal life again.  Due to illness, I have been sleeping more than normal (which I probably should be doing when not ill, as well).  My sinuses are also not happy with the additional 1500 ft of air pressure…but I’m getting used to it.  Daylight savings also came at an inopportune time as I am now two hours out of sync rather than just one.

The dog was happy to see me and even happier that I took her for a walk today (just couldn’t make myself run). The younger son was very adamant about getting his present, so I handed him a bag of pistachios.  He looked horribly disappointed but managed to squeak out a ‘thank you’.  Then I gave him his real presents: a junior ranger vest (with many pockets for rocks), a book on the wildlife of the deserts of the US, and some Saguaro cactus seeds.  He wore the vest all day and wants to plant a garden of cacti.  (Mike and the older boy were more patient – they got shirts and some cactus candies.)

I did manage to get out to Sabino Canyon on Saturday morning before flying out.  It a beautiful spot.  I’ll probably post more pics on Wednesday.  In the meantime, I have to tell you how tickled I was with the Saguaro cacti.  They are so easy to anthropomorphize, and the one above looked like he was having a conversation with the rest of them.  Or maybe it was yelling at the tourists like myself.  With that little arm sticking out, it looks like it’s pretty adamant about something.

 

Someone always gets sick when we travel… March 9, 2012

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One of the funniest vacations I remember is a ski trip to Duluth where the older boy got sick.  I spent close to two hours cleaning his regurgitated breakfast off the bathroom floor of the fancy condo we rented.  I remember other trips where one of the other kids got sick, and one of us was trying to google the nearest pharmacy or 24 hour grocery in whatever strange town we were in.  (Of course, these things never happen in the middle of the day.)

Since I was the only one traveling this time, I guess that means it had to be me.

Apparently the desert air isn’t very friendly as I have the mother of all sinus infections.  On top of that, it appears I caught some viral thing on the trip here because my whole body is achy.  It feels like I have the flu.  I thought the two were the same thing, but apparently I had to be twice as sick.  Probably to make up for the lack of other people who could also be sick.  Or to make up for the fact that I managed to get sick after taking care of all the important reasons why I came.

The nice doctor gave me some antibiotics and told me to get some rest.  The way my ears are plugged, I can tell my flight home tomorrow is going to be a bit less fun than I hoped.  But thank goodness for modern medicine and airplanes.  Hopefully I will be home and well very soon.

Happy Hanukkah! December 20, 2011

Posted by mareserinitatis in religion, younger son.
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I think running myself ragged finally caught up with me the past couple days.  I was starting to get a cold a couple days ago and woke up this morning in bad shape.  Fortunately, it’s not an infection…just my immune system overreacting to everything and telling me that today was a day off, whether or not I wanted it.  I guess this is the up side to having the teenager home during the day now: his younger brother has this week off from school, so they kept each other entertained while I lay there in a cold- and cold medicine-induced stupor.

I thought this only happened as a student, but I guess not.  Teaching is just as tiring as learning.

Despite feeling cruddy, we managed to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah.  A couple weeks ago, the younger boy came to us and said he wanted to celebrate.  I wasn’t sure what to do, but a friend sent me some information and I spent a bit of time researching how to properly observe it.

I have to admit that I feel a little funny observing a holiday from a religion with which I have extremely limited familiarity.  I’m not sure why this is.  I would never feel funny if my non-Christian friends participated in Christmas (and I have a lot that do).  I’ve also been invited to participate in a Hillel meeting once.  (I had no idea what was going on, unfortunately…but I was still welcome!)  So I don’t think anyone would get annoyed…but it’s still an odd feeling.

We lit the first candle of the Menorah in our front window.  I don’t know if any of the neighbors saw it, but if they did, I suspect they’re going to think this explains why we never hang up Christmas lights.  Actually, we did hang them up one year, but we didn’t take them down until August.  So now we just never bother with hanging them up.

Overall, it was fun.  My friend sent us a card game that’s about Hanukkah, so we played that after lighting the Menorah.  I guess I thought we had to wait until indulging in fried foods, but I guess not.  Donuts, anyone?

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